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Gone Let ‘Em Go

I know I wrote a post about Cutting People Outcha Lives last year that challenged cutting people off.  This is not that post.  Sometimes, sis, you might as well give them the boot, and here are five tell-tale signs, that they need to go.

  1. They won’t listen to wise counsel.  And I’m not talking about like off the top of your head counsel.  I’m talking about what you know is right by way of your convictions and belief in God.  Friends share ideas, carry one another’s burdens, and restore each other.  If she ain’t try’na to hear from you, maybe she doesn’t value what you bring to the table.  Check that…
  2. They don’t celebrate with you.  In my mind, unless you’re on your dying bed (okay, if you have the flu or som’n like that), when I bring you some good news, I’mma need you to celebrate with me.  I absolutely love celebrating a sister’s successes, so… I’mma need that back. If you can’t celebrate when I stayed within 30 calories of my calorie count today, you need to go.  Struggles are real, your people need to celebrate with you.
  3. They are copycats.  Listen, most people are drawn to folks like them, but sis, if your girl is literally doing every single thing that you’re doing; dressing exactly like you’re dressing, buying the same wig, unit, weave, you buying; her dude may look kinda like your dude. Girl. You got a stalker, I mean a problem.  I’ll be the first to say, my friends have some really good ideas about style and fashion, hair treatments, nail shops, and what’s on sale. I’ve had moments where my friends have bought two of something because they knew I’d like it. I’ve even done that for others. You need that. And… you need some diversity in your circle, someone from whom you can learn something; someone who can introduce you to new ideas, concepts, ways of thinking.  It’s kinda scary when you see someone looking just like you who’s not your twin.  Be careful.  Check that…
  4. You can never do anything right.  Nothing frustrates me more than being around people who constantly criticize every dam… wait.  Nothing frustrates me more than being around people who criticize every single thing I do!  Granted, I stay needing my coattail pulled, and my girls will grab me by the hem and swing me around in a hot minute. That’s what friends are for (says, Dionne Warwick). But friends don’t give friends an emotional beat down on the daily. When I encounter that kind of person (And I have–she nitpicked every single thing I did. Nothing was ever right), it makes me feel like the only reason they come around me is to feel better about themselves by criticizing me.  I don’t need that energy, and you don’t either.  Get ‘em outta your life and keep on living. Nobody likes a negative Nelly.
  5. They won’t apologize.  Folks be wrong sometimes, and they need to admit it.  If your person is your person, like your roady, your ten toes down, your hitta; if that person hurts you, s/he should be quick to apologize, like with lightning speed.  When a person shows you that they are loyal to your relationship, nothing will keep them from maintaining it and bringing about reconciliation.  Real hittas don’t leave gaps in relationships.  Their pride means nothing when it comes to maintaining a friendship.  If an apology is a problem, the friendship is a problem.

Y’all know I just came up with these and revised until they made sense.  I am not a professional friend-cutter-offer.  Just something for you to consider.  Let me know how it goes.

Published inHer RelationshipsHer WisdomLadies Love Lists

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