I have always been pretty fashionable; I like nice things, nice clothes and I looooove shoes. My ex-husband said it was one of the things that attracted him to me; he said he would ask himself, “How is it that she is always so together every time I see her, no matter where it is?” Well one of the most painful times in my life was when that same man and I experienced a divorce. My grandparents raised me and were married fifty-five years. I dreamed of having a husband who adored me for being his perfect wife, we would have two children, a dog, live in a Barbie Dream Mansion, and we would be married for at least fifty-five years.
It didn’t happen. Most of my fifteen years of marriage were wonderful; people thought we were the perfect couple. He made me laugh, feel secure, loved, and needed by him. We had our two beautiful children and a dog.
No mansion. No fifty-five years.
By the time our marriage was over, I was so caught up in flodgin’ and keeping up appearances, I lost focus—no I wasn’t tryin’ to focus—on what God was actually doing in my life!
I was embarrassed. I didn’t want the dream to die. Truth is the dream had already died inside the house, but I couldn’t let the church, the neighbors, my co-workers, etc. know about it. I was angry, resentful and honestly I hated the day my ex was born and many times wished death on him, because I was soooooo hurt (I’m being honest)!!! I never thought I would love again and didn’t want to, because it meant making myself vulnerable to someone who could hurt me. All of this was going on inside, but with my outside swagger, puh, no one knew! Or so I thought.
Aha Moment: Sometimes we have on too many cover girl products; everyone can see we look like a clown except us.
Finally one day at work, while sitting at my desk, the whole left side of my body went numb, I was carted out of city hall on a stretcher, on the verge of having a massive stroke!!! Instead of crying, acknowledging my anger, hurt, my disappointment, my feelings of failure, my embarrassment, my feelings of fear; instead of releasing it all to the Master, I was killing myself. The doctors took all kinds of test, I wasn’t overweight (at that time), I exercised, did all of the right things, so why was I about to have a stroke? It was the COVER GIRL SYNDROME!
I thank God for every trial he has brought me through, especially my divorce. Now, I am not glad I got a divorce, but I thank God for bringing me through, with my sane mind; I thank him for keeping my children whole through the midst of it all, and most of all I thank him for maturing me and my ex-husband and drawing both of us closer to Him.
I now know experiencing my trial of divorce helps me to minister to other women experiencing the same thng. I tell myself often, my testimony is not to dictate to another young lady what she shoulda, woulda, coulda done, but I am an instrument God is using to show how he can deliver from any situation. Better than that, He can RESTORE and bring life to what you may have thought was DEAD!
“For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper, not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. ” Jeremiah 29:11 Thank you God for your word…
Learning his purpose and plan for Demetria~
BIG SHOUT OUT TO MY BESTEST, “BIG RODNEY,” MY EX-HUSBAND!
Wonderful and powerful, Demetria. You go girl. Thank you for sharing (I know it isn’t always easy to share). And continue to let God use you. 🙂
YOU GO GIRL We all have a Cover Girl Syndrome of some kind we also know that if God brings you to it he will bring thru it.
Hi Demtria,
As I started reading your excerpt, I said to myself “Was she a fly on the wall at my house?!?!?!?” I swear, this is “part” of my life story. Thank you so much for those words of encouragement. I am a living witness that only God can heal a wound that is so deep that even you don’t know its there until its too late!
In HIS Grip I remain,
Lori Lynn Love (formerly Young) 🙂
You must know that you are not alone in the Cover Girl Syndrome. We must help one another to get through our Cover Girl Syndrome.
Love, Peace, Joy, and Hapiness
I am so grateful for your honesty. Thanks for the testimony! All for God’s glory.
Hope LW
Girlz,
Thank you sooooo much for your comments! I pray that my testimony will encourage my sista-girlzs on this journey of life. I thank God that even in our misery there is a ministry! (Rev. Arthur Jackson)
Remember, our heavenly father knows the plans HE has for you; HIS plans are to prosper, not to harm you; HIS plans are to give you a hope and a future!
Be Blessed Beautiful Ones …
Learning his purpose and plan for Demetria~
Your testimony has helped a lot of us who has, have or had the CGS. In some area of our life we have experience it. Thank God for allowing you to share yours.
Demetria:
Thanks for sharing your truths. I knew from the very first day that I met you that you were a spiritual and righteous sister. God has a way of speaking to us through his angels–those who are right here on earth. He spoke to me about some of my life’s challenges through your testimony and I thank Him and you for that. It is sooo good to be reminded that God has a Divine and Purpose Driven plan for all of His children. It is left up to us to remain faithful and focused knowing that God will carry us through all of our trials and that he is a Master at “Working it out.”
Many Blessings and Much Love–Shea
I am so proud of the beautiful Woman of God you have become. It fills my heart with Joy that my favorite niece loves God and recognizes His love for her.
You go girl!!!!!
I’m so greatful that i’m your sister in Christ! You testimony has really helped me today. Tears started to form in my eyes while reading.Thanks for reminding me that God will carry us through all of our trials and that he is a Master of “Working it Out”
As I read this article, I immediately begin to think back on my own personal situation. I was also married for a very long time and thought that everything would work out. To everyone else we were the “PERFECT” couple. We all know that no one is perfect but GOD. I continued the cover girl mentality until I just could not do it anymore!
I must say that still today it is very painful and sometimes hard to believe but the person that I called my soulmate was not the plan for my life. I’m thankful to GOD that I am sooooo much better than I was about 4 years ago but HE still has a lot of hurt/pain to mend. I have two beautiful children and my prayer is that God will not allow our mess to disrupte their lives.
I am learning not to replay those moments within my head, as it only causes more pain. Through prayer, supportive family and friends and of course my pastor, I have learned that it is NOT about me at all. Everything that you go through is to help you help someone else. (it just hurts while you are going through it ~ LOL).
Demetris~ thanks again for sharing!
Ms Adair,
I knew from the very first day that I met you that you were a really sweet, honest and lovely person. I thank God for allowing us to meet. Thank God for such a testimony. Thank you for allowing God to use you to help a lot of us with this Cover Girl Syndrome. I will continue to pray that you allow God to continue to use you to Bless us.
Love,
Mildred
What can I say Demetria,
You are the Bomb-Diggity. Did you not know that you had such a far-reaching and powerful ministry? If you don’t know, now you know. Thanks again for yielding and being so transparent. This, my dear, is the start of something new and different from/for you. You added arms and tentacles and suction cups to your growing purpose in God’s plan. I can’t wait to watch the sequel. Keep doing what you’re doing, ’cause you got some-mo’ sparkle up and through. And by the way, I still want that “planned” feature.
Grateful for just playing a part,
D.
Powerful and inspiring testimony. CGS is something that all of us experience in some shape, form or fashion at some time in our lives. You and so many others are examples that we can survive these seemingly impossible periods of our lives
Keep the Faith,
Sylvan Settle
Sweetie,
Thanks for sharing your experience – I know & understand where you cameg from. I have been in the same place but Grace be unto God I have been delivered and set “FREE”. You are a beautiful and spiritual person. I thank God for our friendship. I want you to know that I get strength from you – this is a powerful testimony. God bless and keep you. Keep letting God use you because he more for you to do. Love ya, Ms. Georita
Tee-Tee,
You have inspired me… A lot of what you wrote is a lot of what I am going through now and I want to thank you for sharing you with me and whole other group of women that can benefit from reading your testimony…
You are a star, you have an astral personality, and you shine so bright that, way across town, I can see your glow…
You are the epitome of the woman that I always dreamed that I would be… You have shown me what a strong, smart, proud, resourceful, giving, loving, Goddess Black Woman should be…And did I say smart… I love your heart… You have passion that will move a nation of women living for God…
You have blessed me and I encourage you to continue to share your experience as you are being used as a vessel to minister to women… Consider this your pulpit… figuratively but it is your platform for delivering the word that God has placed in your belly…
You are a shining star…
For most you raise the bar…
Of expectation… of how a nation of real women should be…
You have caused a lot of women to be free…
Free of the strongholds…
That kept them from walking bold…ly
In their own destiny…
God created you for a purpose…
One that should make others focus…
On who they are and whose they are..
And maybe, just maybe, your depiction of what God has done for you
Will make them raise the bar
And expect more, accept more, reject more, live more, love more, and receive more…
After all what was our lives created for…
Life more abundantly…. so others can see…
The absolutely, magnificent glory…
Of the one single, solitary being…
As a result of this testimony….
That……..
God Is….
Wow! Just getting a chance to read this. We all have our devote “demons” we ALL deal with. Though they may be same or indifferent, God has the power to deliver us from any issues we may be dealing with and you are a testimony to that, we all are. The truth is that in some point in time God will allow our “Cover” to be removed. Thank you for sharing such a personal matter. To God be the glory for all He’s done.
Much Love,
Leslie
Wow! Demetria, that is a powerful story and one I can relate to. I am just in “aw” right now because it was your kind words of encouragement that enabled me to make a decission on marrying my new hubby. Let me refresh your memory……”We had a meeting (work related) a little while back and you stated that you happened to run accross my name in the divorce section. I think I told you that I was dating a really good guy who wanted to get married but I was terrified and didn’t think I could ever do it again and I had just given up because that was my second divorce. Well you told me “Don’t give up…..it can still happen for you…..and let you know when the date is”. For some reason, that kinda calmed my soul, so to speak. I felt like my hurt and fears just disappeared. I told my husband (boyfriend at that time) that you must have said a prayer for me while we were sitting there. I think you spoke peace over my life or something because everything fell into place once I said I told him I was ready. You just neve know how you may touch someone’s life and I am glad you said what you said to me becaus you could have said a LOT of negative things when I mentioned marriage but you didn’t. I thank God for your story and I thank God for you.
Yes you are the shoe Queen and if you would only think of me when you get a pair (size 8) I too can be stylish!!! LOL
As I read your story it reminds me of a doctor speaking on WLOK about forgiving and forgetting. She said, “in order to forgive and forget we have to find the good in a bad situation, laugh/smile about it,then learn from that”. I though how can we find good in a situation that hurt us too the core.
Through your story, you demostrated how this can happen. Because you have not allowed your hurt to destroy you, the time you shared with your ex-husband has made you the person you are today.
Don’t give up on waiting for your mate……. He is coming
Love Ya