Skip to content

Five More Reasons You Don’t Like That Chic

This is not my original meme. I found it on It encapsulates the spirit of this post, perfectly!

I’m just going to jump right in here for the new year, mainly because I don’t want anyone to start 2016 with the baggage of side eyes and shade.  Let’s do something different with our faces ladies, and let’s do it with the knowledge it takes to make a change.

So remember, 5 reasons why you don’t like that chic?  Well, guess what, there are actually ten reasons why, and I’ve got the last five here for you right now.

  1. She embraces her entire self, even the ratchedness.  For the past two hours, I’ve been listening to my daughter, Layla, read the book “I Like Myself,” by Karen Beaumont.  Right when I got to the point I wanted to scream, “Okay, already!  You like yourself!”  I had a revelation.  A lot of us don’t like who we are.  We don’t value the good, the great, the bad and the completely busted parts of us.  We don’t understand that it is the bad stuff that makes us complex and equipped for ministry, so we don’t like ourselves and get mad at other folks who seem perfectly fine with all their flaws.  Get over yourself today, so you won’t be mad at someone who seems just as busted as you, but happy.
  2. She finishes well.  We’ve all been there, at the point where we haven’t been on top of our game.  Then, this thing happens where we see some other chic straight “gittin it in,” when just yesterday she was struggling just like you.  The thing is, that other chic didn’t stop her grind, she didn’t get frustrated, she didn’t give up, she didn’t get distracted.  Let me talk about myself here.  When I see this in other people, I am often reminded of the times that I put things off and procrastinated myself out of completing a goal.  I look up, and someone else has done the very thing I was supposed to do and done it well.  I don’t know about you, but it ticks me off a little, and I have been guilty of deflecting my own shortcomings on that chic.  Not a good look.
  3. She can’t be figured out.  The unknown confounds us.  Sure, mystery is intriguing, titillating even, but when you can’t figure a person out, her calm, her elegance, her unbreakable resilience in the face of challenges, it can make you a little bit uncomfortable.  The why behind the what makes us think, she CAN’T be that composed, because I can’t be that composed.  Oh, but she can, especially if she has the spirit of God with her and guiding her footsteps.  You better get you some.
  4. You haven’t forgiven.  I know I talk about it a lot, but I do it because it is a big deal.  Unforgiveness can take its toll.  It causes all kinds of eruptions in our lives.  One reason you may not like that chic is because you haven’t forgiven her.  She’s walking around happy, head in the clouds, feet barely touching the ground, and you’re holding on to a weight so heavy you can’t even raise your head.  That’s unforgiveness, and it can leave your heart very hard.  Please, if this is where you are, know the chic doesn’t even matter, what matters most is the condition of your heart and the potential you have to propel yourself forward across the universe once you forgive and let go.  This blog has numerous posts on forgiveness.  Let your heart soar this year.
  5. You find out she’s been faking it the whole time.  Of course, I had to throw in something that will make you feel better about your situation; however, this one has a twist.  Believe it or not, at some time in your own life, people have said you were a fake, especially if you were deep up in God’s plan for you.  For a time, life is good, blessings are flowing, and no one can bring you down, until some big thing happens, and the walls crash down.  Likewise, you’ve seen the underbelly of a woman you thought was on the up and up.  For weeks, months, even years, you thought she was cool, straight up, down to earth, on the right path, blessed and highly favored, holy and righteous, and then something happens and that house YOU built with bricks of compliments, admiration, dotage, and unfettered devotion collapses.  In the blink of an eye, the person you built up to be near-to-perfect shows you her dark side.  Now you’re mad. You decide you don’t like her anymore.  Let me say this; crap happens that can turn a sister’s life upside down.  Even the best fortified walls can take a tumble in a most noisy and unrefined way.  Sometimes, a girl’s smile just cracks, and you may be the one to see when the corners of her mouth falter and eventually fall.  Here’s what you do, let God help you decide how you should be positioned when you see the slimy stuff underneath the shiny covering.  He may want you to minister and he may want you to run.  Whatever the case, remember, we all do what we can in our challenging times.  Sometimes we fake it until we can do better.  Sometimes that faking works.  Other times it doesn’t.  Try to give the other woman the same grace you would like to have in similar circumstances.

I sure hope this one blessed you ladies.  Stay tuned for more.



Published inForgiveness FridaysLadies Love ListsThe Mirror Series


  1. Norris Norris

    Oh yes, that was good, very well put, and that’s it…and yes the Issue ISS~You. Check yourself first before you so quick to check others.

  2. I remember many years ago in Memphis we talked about procrastination as it pertains to writing, and how one way the Lord provokes us to move is to see someone publish our idea. I learned the hard way as I saw unique ideas I did not act on or believe in become an Essence article, movie and a TV show. Now I am writing my sequel and I am on the hot trail to get that thing done 90% faster than the first one. I have LEARNED!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *