Ladies! This post is part of a wonderful five part series on marriage. The posts were crafted by my wonderful friend, mentor and counselor, Mrs. Zina Henry. Zina has over seven years of “real life” counseling experience under her belt by way of a marriage ministry, GUMM–God’s Union Marriage Ministry (pronounced Gee You), which she started with her husband, Eldridge Henry, in her home. She is now accessorizing her experience by pursuing her counseling degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. That is too say, she does know a lot about the things, of which she speaks. So prepare yourself for the round 1 of the boxing match between the Marriage and the Wedding. We’ll let you determine who wins. Enjoy!
Excerpt from last post:
When you’re dating, you put on this pretend face and go along with everything even if you don’t like it because you don’t want to rock the boat. However, one of you will eventually explode from the pressure.
Does he know all of your deepest secrets?
When you’re just preparing for the wedding, your future husband doesn’t know all of your deepest, darkest secrets, and you don’t know his. And you have no plans on telling him.
When you are unable to share secrets about your life for fear of him not accepting you or leaving you, then you are not preparing for a lifelong future. What’s done in the dark, will come to light. So if you have deep secrets from your past, it’s better if he finds out about them from you rather than from someone else.
The two of you should talk about each other’s past intensely. That’s part of the dating phase; learning every intricate detail of each other’s life. Such as “how did he get that scar above his right eye?” or “where did he grow up?” or “who does he love more, his mother or father, and why?” Ask questions and expose yourself to your future spouse. How can you build intimacy if you can’t tell each other your deepest secrets? Genesis 2:25 says: “And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”
When you are preparing for marriage for life, you and your spouse are completely transparent with each other, before and during the marriage. You are able to be completed exposed and uncovered and there is no sense of shame or guilt because you know that you are protected and loved.
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