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5 Reasons Why You Don’t Like That Chic

Wait.  I don’t know who the chic is.  But if you clicked on the blog title real fast, there is a woman in your life that you can’t STAND! Sadly, I’ve been there a time or 2 (or 3), but after returning from the brink of “stank-eyeness,” I discovered a lot of my dislikes have more to do with me than… that chic.

Photo Credit: The Modern Jedi-Watch the Classic Stank Eye from “The Devil Wears Prada”

Now don’t get me wrong, you will run into a few som’n ain’t right women, those women who really seem to be operating under dark forces; even the look in her eyes creeps you out. I vehemently acknowledge that you will encounter one or two women of that ilk; however, other ones may prick some other issues you may have with yourself.

So who am I to say why you don’t like that chic.  How did I get so brazen to believe I can distill why you’re throwing shade at your sister into a mere list of five?  Well, I’m a woman; and I thought this would be fun.  I love a challenge, and I am quite sure that somewhere in the comments, some Who’s That Lady will reel me back in.  And guess what?  I’m good with that.  So let’s carry on, shall we?

  1. Flock_Damask_Wallpaper_VI_by_flashingblade.jpgShe is intent upon evil.  I started out with this one, because I figured I’d lose you if I put it at the end.  It is true, there are some women out there whose every move is precipitated by her need to stomp on others to make herself feel better.  She is hell bent on stealing someone’s thunder, killing someone’s enthusiasm, and destroying someone’s credibility (see what I did right there).  The wickedness in high places ALWAYS seems to be at her place.  Most women who regularly operate within the troublesome threesome (steal, kill, destroy) are women who probably should get shade thrown on them on the regular.  And you know, God got a lotta shade to throw around.  So you just stand back and see the magnificence.  My advice: Get away.  Stay away.  Pray away.  Ain’t nobody got time for that!
  2. Flock_Damask_Wallpaper_VI_by_flashingblade.jpgShe magnifies at least one of your secret indiscretions.  Sometimes its not the woman as a whole you can’t stand, but there’s this one thing she does that just goes all over you.  You want to hide somewhere when she does it, because it embarrasses you!  A lot of times, when you run into that chic, you avoid her because she makes public the very thing you do (and are ashamed of) in private.  She is a constant reminder of how you haven’t dealt with that issue (you know that issue).  As a result she becomes your nemesis, simply because she’s your alter ego.  If you are special enough for God to show you this, just know God loves you!  He is giving you an opportunity to be delivered from your Sasha Fierce!  Take it and run.
  3. Flock_Damask_Wallpaper_VI_by_flashingblade.jpgShe has something you wish you had.  This is a hard one to admit to, because no woman really wants to say, “I wish I had that.”  But there is a secret place and time when all of us have said it.  Some of us even go so far as to analyze why she doesn’t deserve what you wish you had, and furthermore, why we deserve it more than she does.  I have heard it said so many times, that if we knew how some people gained their status, capital, red-bottom shoes, we really wouldn’t want it.  Still, the struggle is real, especially when you need a transmission in your 2001 Honda Accord and you see old girl riding around in a 750.  It will make you feel, some kinda way.  The key to overcoming this is getting some delight in your life.  Delight in the Lord and if you want that 750 and it’s in His will that you get it, those wills will match up for your new set of wheels.  Won’t he do it?  Yes He will.
  4. Flock_Damask_Wallpaper_VI_by_flashingblade.jpgShe is not afraid.  I’m about to cut myself on this one.  How in the world does she do that?  Isn’t she worried about?  Doesn’t she think about?  What if she?  That’s a shame, she’s not thinking about anybody but herself.  A lot of times we fail to walk the water because we are afraid of drowning.  As my husband says, “we’re too busy watching the wind” (you betta preach Reverend Malone).  Then when we see someone else walking on water, we dog her out because she didn’t give drowning a second thought.  She. Is. Not. Afraid.  This is what makes us afraid.  If you see a woman that is not afraid, that means she’s gittin it.  If you are are afraid, you’re not.  Now let’s put this in perspective, I’m talking about women of God.  Fearless.  Bold.  Strong.  Beautiful. Brave women of God who walk the water no matter that the wind is whirling all around her.  We see that and we criticize because she’s too dangerous.  A woman needn’t do all that.  But if you wanna get som’n you gotta do som’n.  Faith without works is dead.  Believe that.
  5. Flock_Damask_Wallpaper_VI_by_flashingblade.jpgYou are feeling unworthy.  Ladies, you know I had to take you back to the mirror, because numbers 2 and 3 can leave you feeling as if you aren’t worthy of forgiveness for or deliverance from your indiscretions, or as if you don’t deserve better than where you are.  That is certainly an untruth.  Fearful and Wonderful, my sisters–that’s Bible back in the day.  Unstoppable and Fierce, my sisters–that’s Bible 2014.  How easy we forget that our own unique beauty is as fearful and wonderful as that other chic’s.  Stop and tap into what this means in God’s kingdom.  We can’t see ourselves as God sees us, all sparkly and shiny and new; but, God sees us, and if we trust Him, we have to trust that we are fabulous despite the secret sins and the missing Jaguar in the garage.  Those things are not who we are.  Those things don’t give us worth.  So we should open up and let God continue to pour His worth into us so that we can feel worthy.  I’m sure that’s what those other chic’s are doing.  You too, can feel worthy, because you are worthy.  Get in a position of worth and watch your worship change.

Again, I am NOT the authority on the why behind the what.  But I have been around too many women to count.  I’ve watched from afar and in close proximity.  The struggle is real.  We don’t have to struggle though.  We just need to seek God and ask him to show us who we are not only in the flesh, but in His spirit, so that we can know how important we are to others and the kingdom.  Soon those five little problems will change to five little reasons to love on your sisters.

Throwing Sunshine,

DiAnne Malone


Published inHer IssuesHer LightHer RelationshipsLadies Love Lists


  1. Mildred Jenkins Mildred Jenkins

    Dianne Malone, whew! You said more than a mouth full. True, true and more true. I wish we as women (including me) knew what we have/are working with. God is so awesome and has given each one of us gifts, talents, power and more to be more than couquerors (see what I just did) do I believe that, A resounding YES. Am I walking in that, Not completely. Because of some of the very things Lady Di said and more….. Thanks Lady Di. We’re going to get there that’s a promise!

  2. Mildred! I had blood all over my keyboard when I banged this one out two weeks ago! I was cutting myself. It’s tight but it’s right. Thank you so much for the encouragement and affirmations. It is a pleasure to know that someone in the blogosphere is checking Who’s That Lady out. And YES, we will get there. Sho ya right. God bless you.

  3. #4!! I was just talking to the Lord about this moments before I clicked on your blog, how living in a fashion that is atypical for a woman garners so much undue criticism. I know that the Lord wants me to stop being apologetic for experiencing all that I prayed, cried, and persevered to see fulfilled. In some situations I would downplay myself or hold back good news so that others would not feel uncomfortable. I think it ties into #5, that some of us spent so much time in the wilderness that we feel we are not worthy of Canaan. Matter of fact, there is downright guilt over it! And when we feel that way, we don’t rise to the potential of that moment or experience the true beauty in the blessing. That topic is worth exploring. I can’t write about it because it is too close to home, but if you feel inspired, please have at it!!

  4. Demetria Bowers-Adair Demetria Bowers-Adair

    Clearing my throat… the owner of this blog is one of my dearest personal friends. As we often share our thoughts and possibilities for her blog (which I’m a humble and grateful contributor) I asked her nicely not to cut me with this particular article. I see she took no thought to my request. I am now bruised, bloody and in need of antibiotics, antiseptic, and bandages! But I’m reminded that whom he loves he chastise. Thanks!

  5. Ida Ida


    You are sooo right. Living ours lives in comparison is a trying and discouraging thing. The only comparison we need make is unto the person we were yesterday and to the Jesus we would like to be tomorrow! Well said! I totally identify! Girl, why can’t we genuinely celebrate each other? Women!

  6. Meetree! You know this entry was written like weeks ago. It cut me too, friend. I’ll get the peroxide and patch you up and then you return the favor (but quickly before I bleed to death!).

  7. Carmen Carmen

    I felt I didn’t see myself in any of the above senarios, but then I realized my mirror was turned backwards. Oh there I am…ouch…let me seek my G.O.D.

  8. Nik, that number four, tho. I was struggling typing it. I am a scary Mary! But I’m getting better. It didn’t occur to me that number 4 would make the lists until I just started typing. Talk about divine. Thanks for your confirmation. It is well-received. Oh and about that move from Wilderness Drive to Canaan Avenue. I’ll let you handle that one. It is worth exploring, the guilt we feel because we’ve been blessed can be paralyzing. But soon as you move a little far from home, I will be at the ready and waiting to read it with bated breath.

  9. Celebrating how fearful and wonderful we are is always in order, because it is a celebration of who God is in our lives. I’m so glad this post was inspiring for you. Go forth and celebrate womanhood, honey.

  10. Paaahaha! Carmen, you are not the only one with a dysfunctional mirror. I got a million of them. Thanks for giving me a giggle this evening.

  11. Rhonda Maydwell Rhonda Maydwell

    Fantastic entry! I have been guilty of all five! I think the devil does all he can to create enmity between women because he knows how powerful we are when we encourage one another. Stand thee behind me, satan! You cannot get between me and my sisters in Christ!

  12. Cicely Cicely

    That song “Oh, How He Loves Us” comes to mind. God loves us despite our shade-throwing skills (and the sources of them). He loves us enough to give us friends who write blogs to remind us of His word since we don’t want to listen to him directly. Oh, how He loves us!

  13. This was an awesome post! Reminding us to be thankful for how we are wonderfully made! God made each of us distinctly for a specific purpose. I think it’s important to remember that you may not have what your sister has but you have exactly what you need to fulfill God’s purpose.

    I can’t say that I see myself in this post…this has never been an issue for me (though I have plenty of other issues). However that’s probably because I’ve always been a weird child (playing by myself or making friends with anybody- I even had imaginary friends). When you’re a military child, you move a lot & have to make new friends a lot. I learned early on that my time in one place may be shortened & I had to make the most of every situation. I also learned to love self by having parents that loved me but also taught me to love others. Military personnel meet so many different types of people from all races & cultural backgrounds. You get to taste different foods as well as learn different cultural values; I believe this helped shape my personality & learn to enjoy life & appreciate my own life. God has made each of us & He doesn’t make mistakes!

  14. Zina,
    I appreciate this perspective, because fortunately there are a few women who don’t have to worry about the ferocious five I listed here. Unfortunately, I’m not one of them. While most of the reasons don’t apply, I can attest that one REALLY applies, and I’m glad God illuminated it to me so I can work on that. I’m working on it. I’m getting better. Thanks so much for your perspective.

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