80/20? No Thanks…

The ole 80/20 relationship rule. This is a concept that has been around for quite some time, but this writer must admit that I had never heard of such a rule until I watched Tyler Perry’s Why Did I Get Married?. If you are familiar with the film, you will recall Tyler Perry’s character, Terry, educating the unfaithful Mike, played by Richard T. Jones, on the principle of the 80/20 rule. Basically Terry (Tyler Perry) lets the brotha know that he had given up his 80% marriage with his loving wife, Shelia (Jill Scott), for his 20% mistress. Essentially, in an effort to grasp the one thing that he felt himself in desperate need of (hot bedroom antics), he had relinquished a wealth of love, security, loyalty and all around need-fulfilling relationship, not to mention that Mike’s wife was also domestically inclined. God bless her. What Mike failed to understand is that our imperfect selves are incapable of fulfilling 100% of another person’s needs. We are limited as to what we can do for one another, so we can stop lying to each other with this, “You are my all” and desist with the delusional thought, “I am your all.” Cuz you’re not. Cuz you can’t. And that’s aiight. After watching Tyler’s film, all we can do is step back and say, “Shame on you, brotha. How dare you be so ungrateful, so unworthy, so dog-like.” Yes, we can look through Mike’s window and into his house and clearly see that 80% is definitely better than 20%.

And while we can see the value of the 80% relationships that some couples have been blessed to find, what about this 100% relationship that we have going on with God. Admittedly, that 100% is not being delivered on our end. He’s barely getting that 10% tithe from some of us. But God is “all in”, giving us 100% of Himself and seeing to our needs 100%. As he proclaimed, “I am that I am.” And as my pastor put it two nights ago, he has allowed us to insert any need we wish into the “that” slot. I can remember a sermon entitled, “Triple A servants serving a Triple A God”. Speaking on the faithfulness of God, the minister encouraged us congregants, to step our game up and step up to the plate. Because yep, He’s a triple A God even when we are not the top-notched servants that He has called us to be.

So, shame on us for sometimes abandoning this 100% relationship for so many trivial things, things that are always fleeting in the end. After having succumbed to peer influence (too grown for pressure), we leave offices, houses, and restaurants thinking, “Did I just compromise my relationship with the Man?” Every day we struggle with our worldly relationships and this God relationship. God gives us all of himself, loving us beyond measure, and yet we can prove ourselves to be most unworthy at times. But, let us resolve to change that, let us not forget all of His faithfulness; let’s not give up this relationship; let’s not give Him up, the way Mike gave up Shelia.
Keeping my 100%,
Ida Marie
(Matthew 6:33)