As you can probably tell by my absence on the blog, my life has been a whirlwind over the past few months, and I’ve been chomping at the bit to get back on this blog and write, write, write! But it hasn’t been happening for me. First, my laptop has been (and still is) down on its last little key stroke. Next the money needed to make that little keystroke come back to life has not revealed itself to me. 🙂 After all of that, my job (which I love, love, love) is one that has proven to be extreeeeemely time consuming in that I am teaching two classes more than I’m accustomed to teaching. And if that’s not enough, juggling all of this with husband, family, and a new baby has proven itself to be a little overwhelming. I must confess I’ve not gotten a grip on it all yet.
Within this myriad of responsibility lies the thing I fear most, not having it all together. This season has proven to be one of the most challenging since my time here in Memphis. I tried to do the whole, “confront your challenges” thing. That didn’t work. I tried the prioritize option, but everything seemed to need to come first. Lastly I finally became completely undone when I looked at all I’d signed up for and how my signature was fading fast. The longer I looked at the committments I’d made and my perceived inability to handle them all, the more apprehensive and stressed out I became. So I did a breath prayer. Just one little sentence to God.
“Tell me what to do,” I said as I laid in the bottom bunk of my sons’ bed. My face was turned to the wall in the way I’d imagine Hezekiah was posited as he asked for more years to be added to his life. But, that’s all I said. No begging. No pleading. Just, “Tell me what to do.” God said three simple words, “Look at Me.”
I remember sitting in a marriage class with a room full of couples. It was hot. The room was small. The participants were packed in. Tight. A young lady was speaking of some challenges she was having, nothing major, just the normal stuff married folks experience, her frustration was apparent as she spouted her “He did,” and “He said,” and “He won’t,” and “He always.” When she finished I told her that very thing God spoke to my spirit during my time of unrest.
“Sometimes God allows challenges to bring us close to Him. He often let’s us experience these perceived insurmountable situations so that He will have a chance to show us His glory. He wants us to not focus on the problem or even the person. He just wants us to look at Him. It’s kind of like we’re focusing on the problem, and He’s standing right there behind the problem saying, Hey, look over here; it’s me, God. Look at me! I’m right over here, by the hills you’re supposed to be looking toward for your help. Can you see me? Look over here. It’s me. Look at me!”
Funny how those words came right back to me when I said that little prayer. That, suddenly, right-now word pierced my spirit and gave me just what I needed to move forward. As I got up from that little bed, my spirit lifted, and in an instant, my entire attitude changed. I was grateful for God’s ear in my time of turmoil, and I thank Him right now today for giving me the answer in such a succinct way.
And so, I offer you the same. As you journey through your storms and situations, I want you to just peep around the problem and look for God. As a matter of fact, just keep looking at Him as you allow Him to lead you on through. You will begin to handle your situation just as if God were standing right beside you, guiding you through, giving you the nod of agreement as you make decisions based on His principles, His word. Don’t look at the big hill that won’t seem to move, look behind that hill, look to that hill, because it’s where you will find your help.
Looking at God,