Make It Right

http://diannemalone.com/blog/?p=398

Confession: My name is DiAnne and I have hurt the feelings of other people.

Anyone else care to share?  I thought not.

You know why?  Because it is often hard to admit we are wrong, that we’ve stepped on someone’s toes, overstepped our boundaries, said one word to many, gave the stare of death to unsuspecting friends, family, sisters.  But we do it, sometimes without knowing it.  We’ve gotten away with unlovely behavior so long, we think it’s normal.

But the hardest of the hard part is actually confronting your own misbehavior.  It’s hard going to the person you’ve ought against and saying, “You know what, I was wrong; I’m sorry.”

Lately, if I had a dollar for each I’m sorry I’ve  had to deliver I’d be like set for life right now.  I think it has lot to do with my present {ahem} condition–you know the hormones and all that make me super-sensitive and super-aggressive at the same time.  This little ole pink muscle in my mouth can turn razor sharp in a matter of milliseconds, and boy does it cut.

But okay, I have to be completely truthful.  I was cutting folks long before the {ahem} condition.  Yeah, I kinda took pride in being able to cuss folk out without using one expletive.  Yeah, I thought I was sooo smart. Not smart.  Just as I was tongue lashing everyone else, I was hurting God’s feelings, too.  And almost every single time, I had to EAT my own words and make it right.

Remember the pride issue I kinda eased across in the previous paragraph.  Yeah, pride often conflicts with making it right, cause I have to admit that I’m wrong.  I forgot about the whole confessing my faults one to another.  I conveniently blotted that scripture from my mind to legitimize my own behavior.  Wrong as two left shoes.  I had left behind a neat little path of broken relationships like Hansel and Gretel on the way to the witch’s cottage.

Fortunately God worked on me with this issue of making it right.  Somewhere along the way it began to really hurt me, convict me, make me feel like crap when I knew I’d offended someone.  It was like a magnet pulling me right back to that person to address the issue.

Unlike most folks, I’m not afraid of confrontation, but this type of confrontation made me uncomfortable, vulnerable, as if someone else had the upper-hand. Like God was breaking something inside of me.  That’s because he was.  He was breaking up the fallow ground of leaving things undone, unresolved, and unreconciled.

Now I’m a little (just a little) more patient with those who have tongues that shoot off like loose cannons.  I don’t get my feelings hurt so quickly because I know that first I’ve done it too, and second, I must reap gracefully in order to find continued favor with God.  I take my lumps and continue to be conscious of when I’ve knowingly wronged someone.  I’m more apt to make it right so that I can move forward in Christ without the rocks and boulders of unresolved conflict in my way.

Do you have some unresolved conflict, some little scraps of broken relationships you need to follow back to the offended person?  Is there something you need to make right?  Do it so that you can move forward toward the next blessing that God has for you.  Clean it up, clear it up, and don’t hang around your offense too long after you’ve worked it out with Big Daddy and the offended one.  Move on to the next challenge, and remember to always reap gracefully as you go.

DiAnne

This blog is devoted to women who are in search of their inner-bling. The inner-essence that prompts people to ask "Who's That Lady?" when she walks into the room is fodder for this inspirational and spiritually led blog honoring the glory of God within women of God. women are women of influence; we just haven't quite figured out how to manage it. Through this blog I want to introduce women to their inner essence, inner-bling, inner-light and inner-whatever else you need to make you feel wonderfully woman-ish 

  3 comments for “Make It Right

  1. Tatianna
    July 14, 2009 at 7:41 pm

    I find myself reflecting on things that I have done, as well as things that I have said to hurt others. I am usually the one that is gettign hurt. I have this complex that I wrestle with continously, like I have to take care of the people around me. I have too many expectations of others, that sometimes I forget that everyone does not think like me. I have a bossy spirit and that is something that I am truly going to have to work on, because sometimes that push people away. I would like to apologize first to GOD, then to those who have hurt me. I must apologize to myself for mentally and emotionally sending myself in a range, more so emotionally than physical. I have learned how to forgive, but I never can forget. All I can truly say, “is what you see is not what you get, cause GOD is not finish with me yet.” My grandmother always told two things: The first is, “life is like a open window it is up to you to control the shade.” with that being said, our liives are remotely controlled by ourselves and no one else. So we must learn to take full responsibility of our actions, even if we have to put our foolishly self righteous pride to the side. There is nothing wrong with humbling your self. The second is , “Personality open doors and character keeps them open.” People remember others from the way the treat people. Life is too short to belittle others and make other people feel inferior to our own self conscious motives. The other person may be feeling the same as you are, but mask their insecurities with smart mouths and rude behavior. Life is only what you make it, but a pleasant and happy person always live longer.

  2. Demetria
    July 29, 2009 at 4:56 pm

    Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. Yeah right! Most of us grew up with this mantra ringing in our ears; maybe that is why it is so easy for us to use it as an excuse or quick exit when we set a sista straight, give her a piece of our mind, shoot her straight from the hip. I mean those are the terms we use when we branish that powerfuf sharp personalized weapon of ours called the tongue! And how bout when we finish, we wipe it off and put it back in it’s place (the tongue that is)and make excuses for the bloody mess we left behind; she had it coming, I couldn’t take anymore of her, she deserved it, or she shouldn’t have crossed me, to name a few.

    One of the things I constantly say to my daughter is everyone is different, we don’t all value the same things, what may be an important issue to you may not be as important or important at all to someone else and finally teeth and tongue fall out with each other (ugh I bit my tongue!! so what I am going to do; knock my teeth out of my mouth?!?!)

    My tongue has been as sharp as a sword, my passive nonchanlant attitude toward others has been cold as ice and my behavior toward some people has not always been so pleasant. I in my own carnal flesh and mind can not make it right; yes my pride interfers; yes the enemy tells me it is just as much her fault as mine, why can’t she apologize first. But my belief, my confession and profession that I believe Jesus is the Son of God, that he died and rose again puts me on front street! Although I mess up everyday, I hurt him constantly with my disobedience, not always remaining in his will and way, not always trusting him, he could have so easily “kicked me to the curb”, but instead he is so faithful to me, he forgave and contiues to forgive me and continues to love me and I don’t always apologize first. I must make it right with those who I have wronged and those I preceive have wronged me! But remember it is not me, but the God in me that will help me MAKE IT RIGHT.

    Either how canst thou say to thy brother, Brother, let me pull out the mote that is in thine eye, when thou thyself beholdest not the beam that is in thine own eye? (Luke 6:42)

    BUT BETTER YET

    Know therefore that the LORD thy God, he is God, the faithful God, which keepeth covenant and mercy with them that love him and keep his commandments to a thousand generations; (Deuteronomy 7:9)

    Learning his purpose and plan for ~ Demetria

  3. Sylvan Settle
    July 30, 2009 at 10:27 am

    DiAnne,
    OK, we haven’t known each other that long, but how could you talk about me like this??!!!?? I see so much of my self in this message all I can do is say ouch!But, I thank GOD for the change!! The change that now allows me to see the good or the GOD in people. The change that lets me know that it wasn’t so long ago that I was on the giving end of some of the stuff I know swallow and pray about. “IT’S THE GOD IN ME”!!!

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