Look at God
As you can probably tell by my absence on the blog, my life has been a whirlwind over the past few months, and I’ve been chomping at the bit to get back on this blog and write, write, write! But it hasn’t been happening for me. First, my laptop has been (and still is) down on its last little key stroke. Next the money needed to make that little keystroke come back to life has not revealed itself to me. 
After all of that, my job (which I love, love, love) is one that has proven to be extreeeeemely time consuming in that I am teaching two classes more than I’m accustomed to teaching. And if that’s not enough, juggling all of this with husband, family, and a new baby has proven itself to be a little overwhelming. I must confess I’ve not gotten a grip on it all yet.
Within this myriad of responsibility lies the thing I fear most, not having it all together. This season has proven to be one of the most challenging since my time here in Memphis. I tried to do the whole, “confront your challenges” thing. That didn’t work. I tried the prioritize option, but everything seemed to need to come first. Lastly I finally became completely undone when I looked at all I’d signed up for and how my signature was fading fast. The longer I looked at the committments I’d made and my perceived inability to handle them all, the more apprehensive and stressed out I became. So I did a breath prayer. Just one little sentence to God.
“Tell me what to do,” I said as I laid in the bottom bunk of my sons’ bed. My face was turned to the wall in the way I’d imagine Hezekiah was posited as he asked for more years to be added to his life. But, that’s all I said. No begging. No pleading. Just, “Tell me what to do.” God said three simple words, “Look at Me.”
I remember sitting in a marriage class with a room full of couples. It was hot. The room was small. The participants were packed in. Tight. A young lady was speaking of some challenges she was having, nothing major, just the normal stuff married folks experience, her frustration was apparent as she spouted her “He did,” and “He said,” and “He won’t,” and “He always.” When she finished I told her that very thing God spoke to my spirit during my time of unrest.
“Sometimes God allows challenges to bring us close to Him. He often let’s us experience these perceived insurmountable situations so that He will have a chance to show us His glory. He wants us to not focus on the problem or even the person. He just wants us to look at Him. It’s kind of like we’re focusing on the problem, and He’s standing right there behind the problem saying, Hey, look over here; it’s me, God. Look at me! I’m right over here, by the hills you’re supposed to be looking toward for your help. Can you see me? Look over here. It’s me. Look at me!”
Funny how those words came right back to me when I said that little prayer. That, suddenly, right-now word pierced my spirit and gave me just what I needed to move forward. As I got up from that little bed, my spirit lifted, and in an instant, my entire attitude changed. I was grateful for God’s ear in my time of turmoil, and I thank Him right now today for giving me the answer in such a succinct way.
And so, I offer you the same. As you journey through your storms and situations, I want you to just peep around the problem and look for God. As a matter of fact, just keep looking at Him as you allow Him to lead you on through. You will begin to handle your situation just as if God were standing right beside you, guiding you through, giving you the nod of agreement as you make decisions based on His principles, His word. Don’t look at the big hill that won’t seem to move, look behind that hill, look to that hill, because it’s where you will find your help.
Looking at God,
DiAnne
I’m sure you’ve all seen the show before. It’s actually one of my favorites. Fashion experts Clinton Kelly and Stacy London select a poor unsuspecting violator of fashion and make her over into a brand new person. But before all of this begins, the hosts of the show watch secret footage of the crimes of fashion and systematically intimate to the person all of her fashion flaws. They pick the woman apart, telling her what is wrong with each item of clothing. If that’s not enough, the victims friends are present to continuously “amen” all of the comments made by the host. They further embarrass the guest by going into her closet and picking out all of the undesirable gigs she wears, all in preparation to throw them away, send her shopping, and redress her in appropriate attire. Ultimately, the friends reasons for nominating the guest for the show goes something like this, “I just wanted her clothes on the outside to reflect the type of woman she is on the inside, and right now, her style is not doing that.”
Still another verse that tells us “what not to wear” is found in Colossians. In chapter 3 starting around verse 7 it outlines that at one time we did “wear” some undesirable things like anger, wrath, blasphemy, malice, and filthy communication. Before our encounter with Christ we probably did wear the linen of lying; “but now ye also put off all these.” Those three words: anger, wrath, and malice, come up again in this verse as well. So I tend to believe that anger, wrath, and malice must be a major part of a wardrobe that needs a lot of work. I think we all know what anger is, but I looked up the biblical translation for wrath. It implies that one thinks about something until they get angry, so angry that it makes them breathe hard, so angry that one may become impetuous and hard to calm down. And the word malice, well it means one who follows a wicked heart, always thinking of evil. When layered together, these three articles of spiritual clothing are so unattractive that they run people away, the complete opposite of what were designed to do. We were designed to disciple people to Christ, not run them away from Him.
We too, should do the very same thing. Many times when some of my sisters ask me about an issue they’re having, I ask them “Well have you talked to God about it?” “What did He say?” Once you get an answer from him, it doesn’t matter what anyone else says.
You know why we need to be strong? We have to be strong because the armor is heavy. Yeah it is to protect us. Yeah it is to remind us of strength and power in the Lord, but it is not light. Really during the time this was written the armor was so complicated and heavy that it took another man to help a soldier put his armor on. This means it’s good to have another sister in the faith helping you armor up for whatever fiery darts the enemy will send your way.
I think we toss around the idea of the virtuous woman like an over worn garment. I mean come Mother’s Day and Woman’s Emphasis Month, we have read that passage in Proverbs and commended and praised that woman for all of her wonderful characteristics without giving deep thought to what that woman was all about. By the time the last speaker has spoken on the subject of virtuosity, we will have forgotten in a matter of minutes how deep the scripture is when it comes to the way women should live their lives for God.
Healing takes time. I realize that I don’t know your wounds or the circumstances that caused them. I don’t know the particulars of your private struggles or the pain that pushed you into the dark. But I do know this: Our God heals. Our God restores. Our God redeems. Our God makes all things new. He asks us to choose His healing and then surrender to his process. But we cannot rush through ten steps and expect to be healed. We cannot microwave what generations have watched God do over time. There is not high-speed internet access to all the answers. There is no supplement at the health-food store for soul filling. This kind of discipleship and growth requires a concerted effort over time.
After weighing in the tic-toc factor I surmise that rather than sitting around listening to the ticking I need to do some constructive waiting. I don’t have to sit like a hermit crab while I’m waiting on my deliverance to come. I don’t have to put on my mourning clothes and cover my fro with ashes while God’s sending my worked out problem on down to me. I don’t have to listen to my accusers ask me “What did you do to deserve this?”